How To Be More Positive And Make Things Happen

How To Be More Positive And Make Things Happen |

Just three short years ago, if I had to pick one word to describe myself, it would have been “inadequate”. Whenever I spoke to my parents, I felt inadequate. I was letting everyone down. Or so I thought. It took me a while to understand that I was simply doing what was best for me and the health of my mind and body, which isn’t necessarily what they thought was best for me.

I still feel inadequate sometimes. It’s a curse that comes from people expecting too many things from you. Sooner or later, you have to set yourself free by disappointing them. But feeling inadequate is a logical consequence. Our minds play dirty games.

I’ve been working on the bugs in my mind a lot lately, and I’ve been trying to banish those negative thoughts out of my mind. If I feel inadequate, how will anyone else listen to me? How will success find its way to my door?

I felt it was time for change. So I devised an action plan to gain my positive mind back. Here’s what I learned on the way:

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others If You Want To Get Out Of A Negative Mindset

We are mean to ourselves and don’t appreciate ourselves. We say things like “I’m no good”, “I’ll never be as good, creative, smart, beautiful… as him or her”.

But you know what? Those people probably think exactly the same of themselves. There will always be someone more beautiful or smarter than you. Just try to change your attitude from a destructive “I’m no good compared to them” to a more positive “How can I be more like them?” or “What can I learn from them?”

Comparison is evil. It will make you feel bad no matter where you’re at in your life. Learn from others, but don’t let yourself compare yourself to others.

It’s just not fair! They are not you. They don’t live your life. Everyone is different and that’s the beauty of it!

When I quit my glamorous career (although there was more neck-breaking work than glamour) in luxury fashion, I sometimes looked at my friends who continued climbing the ladder and I felt bad about myself. Yes, I felt inadequate. I knew I had other plans for my life, but that didn’t make things easier when my plans were still just a distant dream.

When I started blogging, I felt totally inadequate looking at popular, well-established blogs. I was constantly stuck in the vicious thought pattern of “I’m not as creative or as smart as them.” The thing is they also had to start somewhere and they were also small once upon a time. I think it’s important to remember that whoever has lots of success now, in most cases will have gone through a lot of failures and hardships to get where they are now. They’re not super-humans after all. Being positive is what brought them all the way to success.

Identify and Banish Negative Thoughts As Soon As They Arise. Then Replace Them With Positive Ones.

Catch your negative thoughts as soon as they start forming and replace them with positive ones. Pick your favourite affirmations and use them whenever you feel negative thoughts coming up.

These are my favourite empowering affirmations:

  1. I am an architect of my life and I am in control of the final outcome.
  2. I have been given lots of talents and I am utilizing them effortlessly.
  3. I have all the qualities that I need to be successful.

Just pick an affirmation that is relevant to you. At first, it will feel silly, but stick to it, and magic things will start happening.

Remember that thoughts materialize. We are nothing, but energy. If you think you’re not worthy of good things, you won’t get them. Attract positive events in your life by creating them in your mind first.

Create A Vision Board

Create a vision board with all of your dreams: experiences, places to visit, material objects, dream partners – anything you want to see in your future. Every time you feel negative, look at the vision board and remind yourself how wonderful your life is going to be. Accept what you have or what you are today, but don’t let your dreams get out of your sight.

Think of those good things as if they’re already a part of your reality. Say things like “My perfectly clear skin basks in the sunshine, and I feel so beautiful” or “I am strong and smart. I am in control of my life.” You get the picture. Make your dreams real right now. The more real you make them, the easier it will be to make the positive things happen.

Make A Detailed Life’s Design

Talking about making it real, make a detailed life’s design. I talked about it in a separate blog post a while ago. I even shared my own not-so-private life’s design with you there. Writing my life’s design is one of the most cathartic things you could ever do. Your thoughts crystallise and you start feeling incredible peace inside. If you don’t know where to start, read this blog post here.

Include details, such as the colour of your dream house, how much money you want to earn, which exact places you would visit at your dream destination, how many kids you want to have, etc. Remember, the more detailed your plan is, the stronger the law of attraction is going to be.

Inhale Fear, Exhale Infinite Light

If you feel anxious, angry or scared of something, try to close your eyes, inhale all of those negative emotions, and then try to transform them into infinite love and light. I know it sounds stupid, but it works!

Just try it: inhale while really accepting your negative emotions, embrace them, then imagine infinite light all around you, think of the person, event or thing that’s causing you negative emotions, and then send all that light (or positive energy) to whoever or whatever is stressing you out.

If you’re struggling when you try to imagine the infinite light, wait until you’re really moved by something, for example, a breath-taking landscape, an incredible sunrise or sunset.

A friend of mine who told me about this technique, learned how to imagine the infinite light above the clouds. Literally. She really struggled and felt silly every time she tried, but she finally mastered it while she was on a plane over the clouds. What can you see above the clouds? Of course, you guessed it. Infinite light!

After that single experience, she managed to recall that light every time she felt fearful or anxious. All you need is just that first glimpse, and then it will be easy.

You wouldn’t believe if I told you what started happening in my friend’s life as soon as she started using this positive thinking technique. Good things started happening one after another, like in a dream. Her life was transformed, and I’m incredibly happy for her. I wish I could share more details with you, but I know she wouldn’t want me to, so I won’t.

All I can say is she feels empowered. And so will you if you try it.

Want More Proof?

Two days after I started these techniques, I got contacted by The New York Times. A couple of weeks ago, they ran an article on the Paleo lifestyle where I got mentioned next to the greatest leaders of the Paleo world. A dream I didn’t even know I had came true!

All it took was a couple of days of careful work with myself. I watched my thoughts closely, blocked any negative ones and replaced them with positive ones.

Our mind is a creature of repetition. Once it gets into the negative mode, it will happily do that for the rest of its life.

It’s not easy to train it to be positive, but it’s not impossible. All it takes is a bit of commitment. You’ll be surprised at how much it can transform your life.

Magical things started happening in my blog after The New York Times article, and I think now I know how to attract even more wonderful things into my life. I’ve been given a little glimpse of what law of attraction is, and I’m hungry for more.

On a side note, we’d been trying to sell our old camera for a while, but nobody wanted it. I’d been dreaming of a Canon Rebel T5i forever, but it seemed like mission impossible. Then I started visualizing it. I suddenly felt that the new camera was very, very real. I even went to the store every week just to hold it in my hands and make it feel real. I don’t know what the staff thought of me: that crazy girl obsessed with the Canon T5i! 🙂 But it worked! Right after I started the technique, I got The New York Times feature and soon after we sold the camera!

Extra money from more traffic + sale of the old camera meant that I could finally invest in the camera I needed so much to improve my blog.

You are the architect of your own life. Don’t let the society, your parents, friends or yourself tell you what you can or can’t do. And even more so, don’t ever let yourself feel “inadequate” like I did for so many years.

Set your goals and go get them! The sky is your limit.

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How To Be More Positive And Make Things Happen. More holistic lifestyle tips at!

 Now tell me, how do you cope with feelings of inadequacy and negativity in general? What are your favourite positive thinking techniques? Have you experienced the power of the law of attraction yourself? Let’s discuss!

Simply Yours,

Vita xx

Linked up to: Thrifty Thursday, Frugal Friday, Thrifty Thursday (with The Thrifty Couple)


  1. I always like to remind myself that I am worthy of the very best and good things coming into my life.

  2. Truly love this post!!

    Positive self-talk is something I’ve struggled with since high school. In high school, I sort of liked myself and spoke positively, but it slowly depleted as I gained weight and felt myself unworthy. I’ve continued to struggle with it even to this day.

    So, to answer your question, what are my techniques? I don’t have any. I read a lot of self-help books, but haven’t ready any in this repertoire. I think I need to look into and begin reading some. I want a happy life & I deserve good things to happen to me!

    Really great post!

    • Hi Jillian, I think I’ve started struggling with positive self-talk when I started getting acne in late teenage years. There is always a trigger it seems. We aren’t just born like that. I still struggle with it, too. Even though the acne is long gone, the mental wounds are still there. But the techniques I mentioned in the blogposts have been helping me a lot. You deserve amazing things in your life! So glad you liked the post. xx

  3. Vita,
    thank you for the great blog, your example inspires me!

  4. Eduardo Moreno says

    Vita, I’m so happy that (very conveniently 😉 I met you and Luca this weekend and you encouraged me to visualise to bring about the change I need in my life now. I think I needed someone to remind me of what I already knew but had forgotten to put into action.

    I’ll keep sending those CVs and cover letters and at the same time, I’ll visualise exactly what I want, with all the detail you suggest.

    Thanks for your super cool blog, I’ll share it tomorrow with FB friends.

    See you soon and give your lovely dog a huge hug from me and my daughter!

    • Hi Eduardo, we’re so happy to have you met, too! It’s just such a pity that you might be leaving the island soon. I mean, it would be great for you, but it’s kind of sad for us because as soon as we find inspiring people who we click with, they just leave the island! I hope this method will for you and you’ll soon land the job of your dreams in Denmark. You can do it! And Luna will be very proud of her daddy. Thanks for kind words regarding my blog, and let’s keep in touch! Kisses to your daughter! xx

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